Crappy Mother's Day!

Dear Harry,

You certainly made my first Mother's Day memorable! We got up at 6:00 and Daddy was still sleeping. By the time he was up, we really needed to get ready for the day, so we both got cleaned up. By 8:00, when we wanted to go out, you wanted a nap. I had almost gotten you down and had formulated a new game plan (involving Daddy getting us bagels and having brunch at home) when your toy car went off saying, "Let's go for a ride!" There went that nap.

We put you in the car (the real one, not the toy!), hoping we could get you to sleep and then get to have brunch. Nope. You cried. We pulled over, nursed, gave you Tylenol for your teeth and kept going. You cried. We pulled over, put you in the wrap, walked around a supermarket and calmed you down and then kept going. You cried. We went home.

I nursed you down on the Boppy after a little "Baby Neptune." Daddy brought me Dunkin' Donuts. (They got my order wrong.) After 45 minutes, you woke up because I was trying to sneak a sip of my iced mocha. You love straws, cups and ice. There went that nap.

We took a walk to try to get you out again. No dice. Daddy left for work. I changed you and we played. You were fussy and clingy. Then you dived for me, wanting to nurse and cracked my lip open. I sat there and bled into a cloth diaper while you nursed. I changed you and went to get ice for my lip. I came back and you had pooped in your new diaper. I changed you again. I think I cursed a little.

You were very cranky from teeth and lack of sleep, and I was cranky too, so I decided to administer more Tylenol and get in the car for a little ride to Target. You were very happy on the way there and fell asleep just as we pulled in. (This is where the readers should yell at the screen "Turn around! Go home!") I put you in the wrap and went shopping. You woke up, but seemed sleepy and calm. I shopped quickly, hoping you would drift back to sleep in the car. I even opted to take the back roads home so you could have a leisurely snooze. As soon as I passed the highway ramp, with no way to go back, you started to cry, which turned to wailing, which turned to screaming. All the way home. We're talking biblical proportions here. I cried with you, baby.

We got home and put "Baby Neptune" back on. I was hoping for another Boppy nap (without the mocha distraction from earlier) but you were having none of it. At this point, it was after 4 PM. You had not had a single real nap and you had been up since 6 AM. Daddy got home at 5:30 and took you for a walk to go pick up something crappy for dinner. You were still awake when you got home. I had Daddy bathe you while I ate and then I nursed you down at 6:30 and you were down for the count. Then, it was my turn to meltdown over the fact that Daddy didn't even get me a card.

I just have to say that it was a crappy day by anyone's standards. It's not your fault. You are a baby, and a very sweet one at that. You didn't know it was Mother's Day. I know crappy days are the days you need me the most, but it was really rough. I felt like I needed a "real" mom to come in and take over. Nothing I did was working. I felt like I was flunking motherhood.

You have made it up to me the last two days, though. We had a great day home together today. Daddy had a triple service day, so I stayed home and you have been a pleasure. I think next year, I will just disappear for a few hours on Mother's Day, even if it is just for a nap. It's nothing personal, but I'll be a better Mommy if I can have a little breather.

Love,
Mama