Harry Joseph, Twenty-two Months Old

Dear Harry,

The picture above sums up the last week or so. Your brother, Nathan (you can call him Nate), arrived on Monday, May 11 at 12:57 PM and so began a new chapter in our lives. You are no longer an only, but will always be our oldest child. I can't wait to see how you two grow to love one another. Mama and Dada love you both more than you will ever know.

There is so much going on with us right now, both good and bad. I simply can't write it all right now. It's too overwhelming. Let me just say that one of my favorite parts of the day is when you curl up next to me in your bed, all calm and still, and put your hands on my cheeks while I hold you close and sing you to sleep. It is quite possibly the sweetest thing in the world and makes everything else go away for a little while. Thank you for that, Harry. Mommy really needs it right now.

All my love,
Mama

Harry's Greatest Hits

An article on NPR about music and newborns got me thinking about music we have played for Harry since he was born. Being musicians, we like things that are off beat and not necessarily kid-related, but on the other hand we've found many great recordings of kid-friendly tunes in unlikely places.

Harry always responded well to music of all kinds and it usually soothes him to sleep. I remember playing Horowitz encores for him at maybe 4 months old and just watching him lay quietly and listen. Later, we started using an old-timey AM radio station to put him to sleep. They played everything from Big Band to 80s techno and it would knock him right out.

We also had a couple of iPod play lists that worked really well for a while. One was an hour long play list of very varied slow-ish songs with artists ranging from Paul Robeson to Carole King, a lot of which are lullabies, but not all. Another was called "11 up and down" started out with 30 minutes of upbeat tunes followed by 30 minutes of slow tunes and that worked for a long time. In between play lists, we depended on music from the "Baby Loves Jazz" series. "Charlie Bird" was particularly effective in the car and Hubby and I re-created it a capella at least once when we forgot the iPod adapter. (Even the two of us singing is better than a screaming baby, I promise!)

These days, Harry loves anything with drums or just plain old Mommy singing one of his favorite tunes. I have a few regular lullabies in rotation, including "Hushabye Mountain" (guaranteed out in 1 run through) "Stay Awake" (reverse psychology anyone?) and "Baby Mine" (Hmmm. All from Disney movies?). We also sing some nursery rhymes, the alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinke. He lets me know very physically and vocally if he is not in the mood for a particular song by covering my mouth and saying "DA!" (his word for done).

When Harry was younger, though, we sang a lot of made up words to famous tunes. Here are a few favorites.

B-B-B-Baby! (Sung to the tune of "K-K-K-Katy")
B-B-B Baby!
Beautiful Baby!
You're the only b-b-b-boy that I adore!
B-B-B Baby!
Beautiful Baby!
You're the only b-b-b-boy that I adore!

Other verses included M-M-M-Mommy, D-D-D-Daddy and K-K-K-Kitty with some made up words for the 3rd and 6th line that I cannot remember. Possibly "M-M-M-Mommy loves her b-b-b-baby boy" or something similar.

Baby Can-Can (Sung to the tune of the "Can-Can" by Offenbach) This one is a form that can take many verses, depending on the situation.
1. Harry, Harry Joseph Steinberg
Was a little baby
And he liked to cry and cry and cry and cry and
Harry, Harry Joseph Steinberg
Was a little baby
And he liked to cry and cry and cry

2. Harry, Harry Joseph Steinberg
Was a hungry baby
And he liked to nurse and nurse and nurse and nurse and
Harry, Harry Joseph Steinberg
Was a hungry baby
And he liked to nurse and nurse and nurse

And so on. Other verses included:
Sleepy baby...liked to nap
Busy baby...liked to play
Stinky baby...pooped and peed
Happy baby...liked to smile
Silly baby...liked to laugh
Fussy baby...liked to whine
Lovey baby...liked to hug (or kiss, or both)


Twinkle Baby (Sung to the tune of "Twinkle Twinkle")
Harry Joseph, I love you.
And your Daddy loves you too.
It is time to go to bed.
You must rest your sleepy head.
Harry Joseph, I love you.
And your Daddy loves you too.

I suppose we'll have to come up with some new ones for baby Nathan, but we may be too tired to be creative. Time will tell. I know we will just keep singing, though. I swear there is something instinctual about singing to your child. And really, infants don't care what you sound like or what you sing. So, while it's interesting to read the NPR article and all the comments (including mine somewhere in there), the best thing for a newborn to hear is its parents voices. As long as it's coming from Mom and Dad with love, it's the perfect sound.

Harry Joseph, 21 Months Old

Dear Harry,

What leaps we have made this month, pumpkin-bear. At the risk of jinxing everything, I'm going to come right out and say it. You are on a bedtime routine.

Dinner
Bath
Playtime
Snack
Video (Curious George, your hero and constant companion.)
Lights out w/music and photos on iPod, then songs from Mama.
Asleep in under 15 minutes.

We've been doing some techniques with you after discovering that you may be what they call "Sensory Seeking". You crave activity, motion and stimulation and that keeps you from being able to settle your body. One of our Early Intervention workers suggested using squeezing massage and big bear hugs to help send slow-down signals to your brain. To that, we added my warm scented rice bag for you to have in your lap during your nighttime video. It has helped you relax enough to realize, "Hey! I'm tired!"

The next thing we did was warn you that "After George, we go night-night." For a few nights, that lead to screaming as we brought you to your room. We were firm about keeping you in your room and told you "All done. Bed or chair." when you would go screaming to the door. There were a few really rough nights. Twice, I gave in to more video after you would not calm down. Each time, you were asleep in minutes. Another night, you kept finding toys in your bed and I just got angry. I left you screaming with Daddy for 5 minutes while I calmed down. When I went back, I apologized to you for getting mad and took you to the rocking chair. You snuggled in to sleep in under 5 minutes.

Now, more often than not, you say bye-bye to George when the show ends (sometimes a smidgen tearfully, but not really crying) and let us carry you to your room where we do our thing. Your bedtime has become more and more consistent and we can depend on you sleeping through most nights. Once you are out, you are really out. Daddy still sleeps with you, mostly so I can hog our bed and not be woken if you do wake up. (You are working on molars, after all.) Let's be realistic, though. I'm your mom. I usually wake up 60 seconds before you wake. The other night, I was able to sneak in and give you teething tablets before you woke up all the way. But we know that your baby brother is going to upset the apple cart soon, so having Daddy with you is a good preventative. It won't be like we are taking Mommy away from you at night.

Speaking of which, this is my last monthly entry with you as an only child. I know you are too little to remember what it was like to have Mama and Dada to yourself, but for us it will be bittersweet. You've become our world and your world is about to change. I expect it will be very tough going for a while, but I know we will work it out. By the time your brother is 6 months old, you will think it has always been like this and so will we. Just like Daddy and I cannot remember or imagine life without you, we will all feel like that about Nathan soon. We have a busy month ahead of us, sweet pea. Go easy on your parents, if you can. We're doing the best we can.

All my love,
Mama

Big difference

Harry's word for cookie is "diddy" and has been pretty consistent for about a month. He knows what cabinet we keep them in and will ask for them at snack time. We try to limit them to organic, healthy cookies (No Oreos yet. We're not militant, but the poor kid just got his teeth. We'd like to keep them for a while.) and he only has a few at a time, but he loves them. So the other day, when he watched me empty the contents of his full diaper into the toilet, pointed and said "Diddy! Diddy!" I just hoped he wouldn't try to dive in after it as I flushed his poor "diddy" away. You really don't want to mix those two things up.

Hungry Harry

For breakfast today, he had:

3/4 cup Calcium/Vitamin D fortified OJ
1/2 cup applesauce mixed with 1 tablespoon baby oatmeal
1/2 cup watermelon slices
2 slices of French Toast with syrup

It must be growth spurt time again. The boy ate more than his pregnant mother this morning. Soon, I'll have three boys like this, counting hubby. Yikes.

Harry Joseph, Twenty Months

Dear Harry,

I didn't forget you this month! It is just that I have been with you 24/7 for the last 10 days. You were "helping" me at the library all last week and this week has been crammed with EI appointments and other fun things (house hunting!). I am home with you today, on the last day of Spring Break and so far, you have peed and pooped on Mommy & Daddy's bed. Both were diaper accidents (The pee was a faulty overnight disposable, but the poop was my fault. Mommy is clumsy changing you these days!) and we will be spending the afternoon washing linens. Good times!

You have had some fun firsts this month. You got your first haircut. You were getting very, shall we say, "fluffy" around the edges. As cute as that was, you hate having your hair washed, so it had to be cut. You screamed and squirmed and screamed some more, but it looks adorable. I think it is going to come in thick and curly now. Who can resist a little boy with blond curls?

You had your first ice cream cake for Daddy's birthday. You didn't like the crunchy cookie center (are you my child?) but you LOVED everything else about it. As you can see from the photo above, we had to throw you into the tub pretty quickly after that. Next day, when you pointed to the picture of a cake in your alphabet book, you looked at me and said, "Dada?" Yes, we had cake for Dada. And it was good.

You also have what might be your first lovey. At playgroup the last two weeks, your friend O has brought her Curious George doll. You love that monkey more than anything and kept taking it from her. We decided you should probably have your own, so we went to the Curious George Store in Cambridge to get you one. The store is hard to navigate with a stroller, so Daddy took you outside, while I explored. I found just the right one and bought it. When I took it out of the bag to give it to you, you got the biggest look of delight on your face. I wish I could have captured that on film. I'll never forget it. Since then, George has become a pretty regular presence around the house. He gets carried around, taken on walks, hugged, fed, put to bed and told stories. You have two other "friends" (Pooh Bear and Philly Joe Giraffe), but I think George is starting to edge them out. We'll see. You are nothing, if not unpredictable.

I'll write more about our EI (Early Intervention) adventures separately, but suffice to say that you are doing well so far. We should be starting a speech group shortly. I'm glad we are getting this started before your baby brother arrives. It will be nice for you to have your own thing to do that gets you some personal attention. That, plus some warm weather for lots of outside play will do you a world of good, while we have a newborn around.

You are now demanding I put the computer away, so I'll close by saying that you just get more and more fun to be around. Your boundless energy and cheerfulness are great to have around, despite the diaper accidents and tantrums. (I didn't get to those, did I?) We can't get enough of you (except at bedtime) and just love you to bits, little boy. I've got to go get you to stop banging on the furniture, so until next time, big hugs and kisses!

Love,
Mama

Early Intervention Adventures

On the advice of his pediatrician, the SLP (Speech Language Pathologist) at our developmental playgroup and friends and family who have been through it, we had Harry evaluated for Early Intervention, due to his lack of speech. At 18 months, he only had two words (still the same at nearly 20 months now). He has many sounds that mean things to him and a TON of signs, both real and made up, but no real spoken language.

In every developmental area in the evaluation, gross and fine motor, social and emotional interaction, perceptual, cognition and self care he scored above his age level. Then, there was communication. He scored 18 months for receptive language, which is age appropriate, but 11 months for expressive language, which is a significant delay. They loved all of his signs, but those did not count towards his evaluation, which in a way is good. If they had, he would not have qualified for help.

He qualifies for 6 months of speech therapy, which is all play based and happens here at home. He can also attend a weekly group with other children his age. They want us to continue using his signs with him and introduce more so that he has a means of expression until the verbal ability kicks in. And it will kick in, they assure us. At the end of 6 months, we will reevaluate and see where we stand.

In addition to working with the SLP, we are going to work with the Social Worker to try to give Harry (and us!) some tools to aid in getting him on a routine. Since he was born, this has been a HUGE struggle. He is very high energy and very "spirited" and we have a lot of difficulty getting him to unwind and sleep, especially since he weaned. His communication problems do not make it any easier. From what I understand, this is a common problem with children who have speech delays. Given the tools and some language progress, we hope it might become easier for us to work with him towards some sort of bedtime (!) routine.

We're looking forward to getting started. I have to work through feeling like I've failed him as a parent, even though I know that is irrational, since lots of kids go through this. I'll get over it. I know this is a step in the right direction and I know he will be fine. I really can't wait for him to be able to tell me what is on his mind, beyond animal sounds and made up words. I know someday, I'll be saying, "Harry, can you stop talking for a minute? Mommy needs quiet." As the SLP at playgroup said, "I can make them talk, but I can't make them stop talking." Though, right now, that sounds like a very appealing problem.